


Hold Me Tight

by FairyLights101



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, First Meeting, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Pining, happy crying, in person anyways?, that's a first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 12:29:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10020821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyLights101/pseuds/FairyLights101
Summary: Hajime wasn’t sure how it started. Well, that was a lie, he knewexactlyhow it had started - he just hadn't expected the outcome to be sowonderful.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RussianSunflower3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RussianSunflower3/gifts).



> russiansunflower3 said to fairylights101writes:  
> MatsuIwa with 28 for the OTP Quotes challenge please!
> 
> 28\. "GIVE ME YOUR HAND"

Hajime wasn’t sure how it started. Well, that was a lie, he knew  _ exactly _ how it had started - he’d followed a blog full of volleyball and aesthetic posts mixed with random memes, and in turn that blog had followed him back just a few hours later. That had been day one. Three months down the road had found him nervously typing out a message, an answer to a quiet cry for help to the void of Tumblr. And, somehow, between those first stilted message things had snowballed into the… interesting arrangement he had.  _ Though I can’t really complain.  _ The thought slipped through his head, tugging a smile along with it as he leaned a little closer to the screen, illuminating the darkness of his room as he tapped out a message, a response to some weird video with dancing men in jogging gear he’d been sent.

**imhereforgodzilla:** **  
** **You’re such a loser**

His thumbs hesitated over the keys, thoughts spinning.  _ Do I say something more?  _ Should _ I say something more? I don’t know. I shouldn’t be so awkward about this. It’s stupid to be.  _ But it was also  _ easy _ to be uncertain of what was okay and what wasn’t. Even more so when it was so late, and all he wanted to do was let it all out, those feelings he kept tightly in check around his parents and classmates, and even when he was alone, afraid of letting them overwhelm him to leave him aching. But before he could ponder too hard another message popped up and that small smile spread a little wider.

**nohomo-novolley-nolyfe:** **  
** **ur right but its okay** **  
** **i know u like it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

**imhereforgodzilla:** **  
** **That’s debatable at best tbh**

**nohomo-novolley-nolyfe:** **  
** **hajime u WOUND ME**

He bit back a laugh - it was too late for that, and he knew that if he didn’t stop it that it would get too loud too quickly. And with the thin walls of their apartment, even the lowest of laughs could rouse his parents or little brother. He didn’t need them snooping, wondering why he was awake so late, especially on a school night. And he  _ definitely  _ didn’t want them taking his phone. So he confined himself to a smile and curled in a little tighter beneath the thin blankets as he thought for a moment before he entered another message.

**imhereforgodzilla:** **  
** **Don’t worry, we both know you like it** **  
** **I’m gonna have to kink shame you** **  
** **Shame on you Issei**

**nohomo-novolley-nolyfe:** **  
** **P L E A S E** **  
** **kink shaming is my k i n k** **  
** **spank me daddy** **  
** **pls** **  
** **i beg u**

**imhereforgodzilla:** **  
** **I hate you**

**nohomo-novolley-nolyfe:** **  
** **u LOVE me**

Hajime stilled, pressed his hand to his mouth. He could feel the heat filling his cheeks, setting his face and ears on fire. But there was a smile too, warm and all too giddy as he thumbed the edge of his phone.  _ You’re not wrong.  _ He loved nohomo-novolley-nolyfe - Matsukawa Issei in real life. A Japanese-American who lived across the world, nearly half a day apart. It might have been dark outside, the red light of his bedside clock and the timestamp on his phone reading half past two, but somewhere in America, right against the Atlantic ocean, it was bright and sunny, half past noon for Issei. Where he was surrounded by his friends, names that Hajime had ground into his head after so many pictures and tales, particularly of another teen called Hanamaki Takahiro, Issei’s “right-hand henchman” as he called him. 

He couldn’t help but feel a spark of jealousy, irrational as it was, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted to be there, wanted be somewhere even remotely close to Issei. But he swallowed that down and reread over the message and buried his face into his pillow, breathing in the scent of his own shampoo.  _ I can’t believe we live so far apart, and yet  _ this  _ somehow happened.  _

He certainly couldn’t have expected it, not right after answering a message that said  _ “i want to die” _ in the tags, clear as rain. Not even two months down the road as they messaged back and forth, as nonstop as they could get with such a time difference. And now, well over a year later, it was still almost unbelievable how things had grown so rapidly. How simple messages had transformed into Skype chats, still too shy for video, and then exchanging pictures, ones that he had meticulously saved to his USB, too scared to leave them on the family computer, then to his phone when they’d had the money to upgrade him to a cheap touchscreen. Those talks had ranged far and wide, gushing about their respective obsessions, their mutual adoration for volleyball, venting about school and classmates, working through the dark moments when everything had closed in, left them breathless and aching and looking for a way out. 

And somewhere along the way he’d fallen in love. Fallen for that sharp wit and crooked smile, for the way Issei’s voice curled around his name on those sporadic Skype calls, and then the way his eyes had lit up so brilliantly on their first video chat. Somewhere, somehow, he’d fallen for a boy he couldn’t see or hear with any sort of frequency, couldn’t even  _ touch. And yet.  _

And yet he wanted nothing more than for things to continue. To have those whispered “I love you”s as he laid on the ground in the park, the conversations too private for his thin-walled home with his family. To see those pictures, Issei flipping them off or making little half-hearts with his hand or simply smiling, bright despite everything.  _ I’m so screwed.  _ And that thought made him smile as he slowly typed out a message.

**imhereforgodzilla:** **  
** **I know** **  
** **I love you too** **  
** **A lot**

**nohomo-novolley-nolyfe:** **  
** **!!!!!** **  
** **[image]** **  
** **this is me rn** **  
** **i’m s c r e a m i n g**

**imhereforgodzilla:** **  
** **I told you I loved you last night you doofus**

**nohomo-novolley-nolyfe:** **  
** **hush** **  
** **LET ME LIVE** **  
** **ALLOW ME TO S C R E AM** **  
** **GIVE ME ALL UR LOVE** **  
** **GIVE ME YOUR HAND**

**imhereforgodzilla:** **  
** **That’s a little hard since you’re in America and I’m in Japan**

**nohomo-novolley-nolyfe:** **  
** **….** **  
** **tru enough** **  
** **｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д`ﾟ)ﾟ｡** **  
** **one day… one day i’ll see u** **  
** **ooooo** **  
** **hajime when’s ur next break**

**imhereforgodzilla:** **  
** **Winter break, so next month. I can give you the exact dates later** **  
** **Why?**

**nohomo-novolley-nolyfe:** **  
** **no reason** **  
** **wait** **  
** **W A I T** **  
** **IT’S LIKE** **  
** **3 AM THERE** **  
** **BABE GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP**

**imhereforgodzilla:** **  
** **… If I said I can’t sleep would you accept that excuse?**

**nohomo-novolley-nolyfe:** **  
** **NOOOOO** **  
** **BAD HAJIME** **  
** **GO TO SLEEP**

**imhereforgodzilla:** **  
** **I will soon** **  
** **I just missed you**

Hajime rolled onto his back and let out a quiet sigh into the darkness. He was met with the quiet sounds of city-fringe life - rustling in the trees, rattling of metal bins, the odd car rolling past.  _ I really do miss you.  _ He missed Issei in a way that shouldn’t have been possible, an ache down into his bones that left him breathless. They’d never been on a date, never touched, hadn’t even seen each other face-to-face. 

But a part of Hajime  _ craved _ Issei, insatiable and desperate. So much that far too many applications had been filled out to American schools - the same ones Issei had applied to, and ones near those too. Universities and colleges thousands and thousands of kilometers away from home. Half a world away from his Mom and Dad who tried their best, but would probably never accept him, at least not for years. Away from his brother, who admired him with all his heart. From Tooru, his best friend since birth. From his team, which had continuously shaped and built him up over the last three years, even as it changed itself. 

_ But I want to see you. Even if it’s just once. I want to see you.  _ He cracked his eyes open when his phone finally buzzed quietly again, this message a little further apart than the others.

**nohomo-novolley-nolyfe:** **  
** **i miss you too** **  
** **i miss you a lot** **  
** **sometimes it blows my mind yknow?** **  
** **how can i miss someone so fucking much?** **  
** **i just want to see you**

**imhereforgodzilla:** **  
** **We’ll see each other soon**

**nohomo-novolley-nolyfe:** **  
** **yeah** **  
** **go to sleep hajime**

**imhereforgodzilla:** **  
** **Good night Issei <3**

**nohomo-novolley-nolyfe:** **  
** **night Hajime <3 sleep well** **  
** **i’ll talk to u soon**

* * *

 

Hajime bounced on the balls of his feet, too impatient to loiter on the park benches or the jungle gym, the merry-go-round, or even the swings of the playground. It was empty for the most part, just a two young mothers with five kids between them running around. There was a more upscale playground just a few blocks away that had drawn the kids away from this one, but he didn’t mind. It meant he had space to talk. 

He checked the time again and popped his earbuds in, right as his phone lit up with an incoming Skype call. He tapped accept and waited with bated breath as the screen went dark for a moment before a heavily pixelated image took shape, then rapidly cleared up. Issei appeared amidst it all, a towel draped around his head, the collar of his tank top tugged up so he could dab at his chin. He dropped it instantly though and beamed, that radiant smile snatching Hajime’s breath away as he stared. 

_ “Hajime!”  _

He couldn’t bite back a smile, soft and warm, as he finally sank down onto the picnic tables he’d been hovering around. “Hey there Issei,” he greeted in English. 

The other teen grinned and waggled his thick eyebrows as he pursed his lips and kissed at the camera.  _ “I’m glad you got to get out. I’ve really been wanting to see you and hear your voice.”  _

Hajime couldn’t fight the wave of warmth that filled his cheeks and he shook his head. “You’re just…” 

_ “Weird? Incorrigible? Sexy as fuck?”  _

Hajime snorted and shook his head, even as he smiled. “Try none of the above, you doofus.” 

Issei gasped and clutched at his chest, but that mock hurt melted into a warm smile a second later as he rocked forward and shifted so that he was on his stomach, legs kicked up over his back, phone propped against something as he rested his chin on his arms.  _ “Aw Hajime, that’s no way to treat your boyfriend! But it’s okay, I know how much you love me. Almost as much as me and Hiro love screaming at each other about them fresh, hot, dank memes.”  _

Hajime snorted and shook his head as he sighed, amused. “You’re not wrong unfortunately.” Issei’s laugh was so crisp and clear in his ears, a far cry from the sobs he’d heard just a week ago, bringing him back from an edge that had been far too close. He curled one hand into his chest and smiled faintly, a little strained.  _ I don’t want you to hurt like that. Not if I can help it.  _ And he would certainly do his best. “So,” he said after that bright laughter died away, “What were you wanting to talk about? You said it was something important the other day.” 

_ “Oh, right! Well… you know how we get about three weeks off for winter break?”  _

“Yeah…?” 

_ “I checked, and our breaks happen to overlap. And, well… Mom’s been talking about seeing her parents, and they’re more than happy to have us back for a while. She said we’re coming to Japan, Hajime. She said I could meet  _ you _.”  _

Hajime blinked. Sucked in a breath. Pressed a hand to his face and bit down on the skin on the outside of his thumb as his eyes started to  _ burn,  _ the world spinning.  _ Japan. Issei. Coming to Japan. Coming  _ here _ , to Miyagi.  _ His shoulders hitched as he curled in on himself, chest tight as he sobbed into his hand.  _ Oh my God.  _

_ “Hajime? Babe, what’s up?”  _

He shook his head, wheezing into his hand for a moment before he managed to straighten up, beaming through the tears that blurred the world around him as they spilled down his cheeks. “I’m…” he croaked quietly, “I’m just… really,  _ really  _ happy.” The smile that met that made his heart twist, butterflies in his stomach as Issei’s eyes crinkled. He wiped his own eyes, the movement a little jerky, but they both grinned at each other, sniffling and wiping at their cheeks. “You’re… coming here? To Miyagi?” 

_ “Yeah… my grandparents live there, closer to Shiratorizawa Academy I think? But it’s not that far, right? I already Google Mapped it to your school, and it’s only like… a thirty minute bus ride. An hour walking. She said I could see you as long as she’s there for the first meeting. But… fuck, Hajime. Hajime…”  _

He nodded, no words, no breath even, as he clutched at his chest and smiled, eyes shut tight.  _ I get to see you. I get to  _ see _ you.  _ But more than that, so very much more. He would be able to touch Issei, to hold him close and finally  _ feel  _ him, smell him, hold him tight and never let him go. “How long until Christmas?” he managed weakly as he sniffled, wiped his face. 

Issei smiled wryly, eyes crinkling sadly.  _ “Four months. But… me and Hiro will be there, and… if you want, we can come the day after we land and get situated. I don’t really know the area, so I’m counting on you to figure out where to wine ‘n dine me, you smooth motherfucker.”  _

Hajime gave him a watery smile and nodded. “I’ll look around. I’ll ask Tooru. That asshole’s been everywhere.” 

_ “Really? Damn, living the gay man’s dream.” _

Hajime snorted and shook his head, but they grinned at each other. He dropped his hand, brushed his thumb across the pixels of Issei’s cheek. There were so many things spinning in his head and chest that he couldn’t sort it, entirely too much to handle all at once. Too much warmth, too little contact, an infinite amount of time and distance that left an ancient ache lurking in his bones. “I want it to be here already.” 

Issei’s expression sobered and he nodded, left hand circling his right wrist, a familiar fidget.  _ “I do too,”  _ he said softly.  _ “It’ll be here before we know it. Promise.”  _

Hajime smiled. “I hope so.”

* * *

 

_ Where is he?  _ Hajime rose up onto the tips of his toes, worrying his bottom lip as he craned his neck. Tooru laughed beside him, but he couldn’t even feel the faintest spark of irritation. Only nervous excitement bubbled in his gut, left him trembling, hands cold and clammy. 

A hand brushed across his, then warm, steady fingers interlaced with his. Hajime twisted, glanced to the side. Tooru stared forward, face calm, an easy smile on his face. His brown eyes cut to the side. They held each other’s gaze for a moment before Hajime jerked his head, faced forward, and sucked a deep breath down his nose.  _ Calm down. It’ll be alright.  _ But after nearly two years of talking to someone, always separated from a screen, it was almost impossible to stay still. He rocked on the balls of his feet, squeezed Tooru’s hand, and his friend squeezed back, touch reassuring, and Hajime smiled weakly. “Sorry,” he said softly. 

Tooru shrugged, grinning as he scanned the crowd too. “It’s okay. I know you’re excited. It’s like back when you two first together - I thought you’d never be able to tolerate the waits until you got onto a computer.” 

Hajime snorted as Tooru barked out a laugh that made people turn, amused and intrigued, and he shook his head. “Shut the hell up, you ass.” 

“Not a chance, Hajime. I’m here to annoy the snot out of you, no matter what.” 

Hajime glanced at his friend, smile softening. “I know.” 

Tooru glanced over, raised his chin as he winked. Well, Hajime was pretty sure he winked - he couldn’t see the other side of Tooru’s face, but he always got the same stupid smile on his face when he did. Tooru squeezed his hand once more, then let go and stepped back. He smiled. “I think you want to look over there.” 

Hajime froze, eyes on Tooru’s finger, then sliding across the crowd as he slowly turned, raking over the crowd once more, heart beating to triple the beat it had been before. Faces, unfamiliar, passed, one after the other, and- and then he stilled. 

_ Everything _ went still.

He could only stare, body too heavy to move, as their eyes locked across the train station. Identical grins spread across their lips. Hajime raised one foot. Another. And then he darted forward, worming through the crowd, heart in his throat. 

_ You’re here.  _

“Hajime!” 

A laugh bubbled out of him, giddy, sharp, as he flung his arms wide. 

_ You’re  _ here _.  _

They crashed together, a flurry of limbs and laughter, and Hajime staggered back, but he didn’t fall as he wrapped his arms tight around Issei and hefted him off the ground, swinging him around for a moment before he set the other teen down and buried his face into Issei’s neck, clinging to him as he sucked breaths in, breathing in the spicy scent of his cologne, rich on his tongue. Hands wandered along his back, settled on his waist and on the back of his neck as Issei trembled against him, sniffling as they clutched each other. 

“I’m here…” Issei whispered, voice trembling, as he clung to Hajime. 

“You’re here,” Hajime echoed, disbelief thick in his voice as he stared into Issei’s plaid shirt and clung to him.  _ He’s here.  _ After God knew how many endless days, weeks, months. After nights of pouring hearts and tears out to each other. After hours spent smiling and laughing together, embracing themselves and each other with every word that passed between them. A breath shuddered out of Hajime as he steeled himself and slid his hands up from waist to face, pulling back enough to see his face. Issei was taller - mere numbers on a screen didn’t do it justice. Just like the pictures and grainy videos couldn’t possibly capture the spark in his beautiful green-brown eyes, or the darker freckles across his forehead. 

Something in him trembled, bright, ready to shake itself to bits. He could feel fresh tears burning in his eyes, joy bubbling up and pulling a giddy smile out as his eyes raked across Issei’s face, frantic to drink it all in, to ingrain every last detail into his mind. To finally realize that he was  _ real.  _ Hajime felt dizzy, too much crowding his head, leaving him spinning as he thumbed Issei’s cheeks and managed a wavering smile. “Took you long enough.

His hands slid up into soft curls that filled the spaces between his fingers as a long, lanky body pressed against him, a calloused hand delving into his  coarser hair while the other cradled his hip. “Hajime,” Issei breathed as their foreheads bumped together. “Hajime, I love you  _ so fucking much,  _ and-” 

“Just fucking kiss me already.” 

Issei grinned, huffed a breathless laugh out through his nose. “Give me your hand first and then I will.” 

Hajime grunted, but he slid a hand from Issei’s hair, and his boyfriend did the same. Hajime’s fingers brushed across Issei’s forearm, the sleeves of his button down rolled up to reveal flesh that dipped beneath his skin, scarred and imperfect, but warm and forgiving. Issei’s breath hitched as Hajime slowly traced a path up, fingers sliding along the veins on the inside of his wrist before he tangled their hands together, both palms clammy from nerves. Issei winked. “There we go.” 

His grip tightened on Hajime’s hand, squeezed their fingers as he leaned in, lips so close Hajime could  _ almost _ feel him, breath tickling across his cheeks. “I’m finally here,” Issei whispered. 

Hajime just smiled and closed the distance.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment yo  
> Hit me up at [fairylights101writes](http://fairylights101writes.tumblr.com) on tumblr for more of my writing content! Thanks for reading (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑


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